Feedback: The New F-Word or the Most Generous Gift?

Almost anyone who has undergone an annual performance review usually feels chills at the word "feedback."

Sadly, the word has become stigmatized. But if you want it and use it well, then feedback can be the most wonderful gift you've ever received.

Let's be clear on the definition of feedback. Feedback is offering someone information that can help that person become better. Better at something they actually want to be better at.

Feedback is specific and actionable. It is a most wonderful form of generosity.

Piano lessons wouldn't exist without feedback. We give our students feedback every day. Sometimes, our students give us feedback on how we can best serve them.

By contrast, criticism ("That author's book is arrogant and boring.") reflects only the critic's opinions, which is selfish. This is not useful and can be disregarded immediately.

Next time you think about giving someone feedback, just ask yourself three questions first. 

Do they want it?
Is it specific?
Will it help them? 

If the answer is yes to all, then please proceed. It would be stealing to keep it to yourself.

Next time you receive feedback, ask these questions.

Do I want to get better at what this person is giving me feedback on? (or, "Does my job description require that I be open to feedback?" If you love your job, hopefully they are one and the same.) 

Is the giver of the feedback explaining specific ways to improve?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then give that person a hug. They just gave you a gift.

If we can see criticism for what it is, not confusing it with feedback, then we can take more chances. Be the people we want to be. Change the world.

Because feedback will make you stronger. Criticism can be ignored. People's responses to innovation are one or the other.

We hope you never think of performance reviews the same way again after reading this. Now, go be amazing.