Habits can make or break us in everything we do. From music to health to school to relationships.
But what makes a habit? Do we have any control, or are we victims of our default habits?
There are three components to any habit.
The trigger - The thing that sets off the habit. For example, hearing the "ding" of a text message on your phone would be a trigger that makes you want to check your phone immediately.
The action - The checking of the phone.
The reward - The thing that feels good after; in this case, the relief of the tension of not knowing who messaged you.
This is the basic cycle, which applies to both good and bad habits. And the more cycles you go through, the more ingrained that habit is.
Now that you know the anatomy of a habit, you can make changes by tweaking parts of the cycle.
If you have a bad habit of checking your phone way too often, you can remove the trigger. Turn your notifications off. Or better yet, leave your phone outside the room.
If you swear too much around the house, you can use a "swear jar." That takes away the reward of feeling better after cursing.
Want to start a good habit?
You can create a trigger by planning your new, good habit after a habit you've already established. If you want to exercise in the morning, the trigger could be brushing your teeth.
Over time, you know brushing your teeth is the cue to get your workout started.
We can create our own rewards after habits by either reflecting on why we feel good about the action, or adding in an enjoyable post-habit activity that we look forward to.
By manipulating one habit at a time, you can have more control over your life than you ever thought possible.