August 23
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Every fall, thousands of parents across the nation decide to stop lessons for one reason or another. But, I believe most pull the plug for the same reason.
For many parents, when they begin lessons, they imagine that progress should be steady. That it should be an upward trajectory.
This makes sense. Our culture is used to it with most things. There's generally no question that after children finish first grade, they'll move on to the second grade. Then third, fourth, fifth, and so on.
Same with other activities. Kids move up to the next age group in sports, the next level in dance, etc.
But music doesn't work that way. Nor does practicing any skill, for that matter.
As we make progress, there are inevitably challenges. If it were easy, everyone you know would play a musical instrument. And be in perfect shape, for that matter.
It's these challenges that make us better. Make us stronger. Able to take on harder challenges.
But herein lies the problem.
When we have the expectation that progress should be steady, and we have a moment where progress is...not steady, shall we say...that derails us.
With challenges, come questions. Is this for us, after all? Maybe music isn't for my kids, we wonder. Stopping lessons, saving the tuition for other things, it all begins to look attractive.
The proverbial plug is pulled, and that's the end of music lessons for many children.
Every time, the saddest part is wondering what could have been.
Wondering what would have happened if the challenge were conquered. Wondering what kind of progress in music and life a child will probably never see.
When we stop at the moment we could have pushed forward, I always wonder what could have been. But, I also wonder what message is being sent to children, if only subliminally.
That when we try something new, it's okay to quit as soon as it gets challenging.
Music isn't for everyone. But we want to make sure we're stopping because it's the best choice. Not because we didn't try everything possible to conquer a challenge.
Otherwise, we'll never know what could have been.
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For parents, students, and anyone else who believes that music can and should be a meaningful part of everyone's life.
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