Ever meet one of those people who blames everything on the rest of the world?
Or at least, a few of the things on the rest of the world?
I used to be one of those people. But I found one question to be very liberating.
What did you do?
As in, "What did you do to contribute to the situation?"
Practicing the piano is one of the world's greatest examples. Because when students don't practice, they rarely say, "I didn't practice piano because I didn't schedule the time."
They say, "I didn't practice piano because...
...there was too much homework.
...family was in town.
...I had a project that was due.
...I had allergies.
...my parents forgot to remind me.
...sports got really busy.
...inflation.
...the new Puss 'N Boots movie.
...and the list goes on.
And there may be some truth to the reasons for not practicing. But the setback is, when all we do is blame outside forces, we believe we're powerless to do anything about it.
But when you ask, "What did you do?", that changes everything.
It applies to more than just music practice, too.
Say the boss is a jerk to you at work.
What did you do?
You didn't make it clear to your boss that their actions were jerk-like.
And you didn't make peace with the fact that you'd be better off telling the boss he's being a jerk and getting fired than continuing to work under someone like that.
Sometimes "what did you do?" is hard to swallow.
But the exciting part is, it gives you control over your destiny.
Because once you know what you did, you know what you can do to undo it.