We've all been there before.
You've put in the hours of practicing.
You know your music inside and out.
But, the thought of performing in public results in knots, shakes, and maybe even some shortness of breath.
The thought of performing in public may not even feel like fun anymore. It's much easier to just...not.
Performance anxiety has been written about and analyzed ad nauseam. In this post, I would like to put an SSPS spin on it.
Let's start with the basics.
Performance anxiety comes from the amygdala, also known as the "lizard brain." This part of the brain is responsible for keeping you alive if someone is attacking you, the house is on fire, or you have a standardized test coming up.
(Just kidding about the standardized test...mostly.)
It's the fight-or-flight response. When your heart rate increases when you're scared (preparing you for battle or fleeing), that's the amygdala at work.
The amygdala is an outdated piece of hardware, though. It comes from thousands of years ago, during a dangerous time.
A time when we had to worry about being killed by something on a daily basis.
Times have changed, which is nice. But, the amygdala works exactly the same way.
And, the logical, executive functions of our brain are relatively new and less evolved.
So, like that administrator at work who thinks she knows everything, the amygdala takes over at inappropriate moments and all logic goes out the window.
When it comes to performing in public, the amygdala kicks in. We are afraid what the audience will think.
This comes from our deep-rooted need to fit into our tribe. From a time thousands of years ago when being kicked out of your tribe meant probable death.
Seth Godin has a wonderful term for the amygdala and all it brings - the Resistance.
It's that voice in your head that says any manner of the following:
This is not going to go well.
Run and hide!
Why risk making people think less of you?
This is the Resistance when it comes to performing in public. And many students listen to that voice, or are overwhelmed by it.
Many decide to continue playing, just never perform. Their parents allow this in the name of keeping music from becoming a stressful experience.
But a vast majority of these students, sadly, end up quitting lessons altogether.
There is a very important reason why the Resistance must be dealt with head-on. And we must support our children in every way with this.
The reason?
It's not just going to be music.
And quitting performing is not going to make it go away. It's a part of us.
The Resistance kicks in when you have an abusive boss and you are afraid to speak up.
The Resistance activates when you have a world-changing idea but you are afraid to share it because others might think it's stupid.
The Resistance holds you back when you want to achieve your dreams, because it's much safer to be like everyone else.
Succumbing to the Resistance holds us back as a society from being all that we could be. And as happy as we could be.
So, what to do?
There is a misconception that we need to make performance anxiety, the Resistance, go away.
This is impossible. It's biology. There's no escaping that voice.
But, there is recognizing that voice for what it is. You can make it work with you. And, you can dance with it.
Sometimes just seeing the Resistance for what it is, an alien being in your head, is enough. Ignore it.
Sometimes, the Resistance is actually trying to protect you because you don't know your music as well as you could. And, you know this fact to be true. Use the signal and practice more thoroughly.
When you hear the voice, lean into it instead of running. Use it as a signal you are on the right track.
But, our kids need us to guide them in this. These are mature concepts, even for adults.
If we let the Resistance overwhelm them now without addressing it for what it is, it's going to overwhelm them with other things later.
Interestingly, I personally find that when I just ignore the voice and do the thing anyway, it's rarely as scary as the voice made it out to be.
As an example, take this blog post. It's approaching 10pm in the evening after a 12-hour work day (I'm not an advocate of long work days, but it happens on occasion).
The Resistance in my mind is saying (in the tone of Darth Vader), "Jonathan, you've had a long day. This post can wait until tomorrow. You should get some rest." You get the point.
But, here I am, almost finished. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. And sharing this important work with you gives me renewed life and energy.
Some of you might hate it.
But, since I've had practice working through the "publishing things people might hate" process, I'm good with that too. And I imagine at least one of you will be glad to read this when you read this.
The Resistance had to be dealt with when we started South Shore Piano School. Starting a new business with a business model no one has ever attempted, all from the ground up is not generally considered the most stable career choice.
Yet, here we are. My three amazing colleagues and myself, now teaching over 130 students a week after a short 18 months.
Think of all we would have missed if we gave in.
And so, let's teach our children to dance with fear. To see anxiety as an opportunity. To see where it can and will cross over into other areas.
Let's show them why it's important to deal with this now before they leave us.
They will thank us for it when they're living their dreams.