We have taught hundreds upon hundreds of students over the years. The number one cause of stress we have seen as they grow up is getting into a good school.
The logic is sound. Get into a good school, go on to a great career, and then you get to have a great life. Clear enough, right?
But, the problem is...what the heck does "good" mean?
When people refer to a "good school" for private high school, I believe they mean a "rigorous school." One that will push students hard with a heavy workload. One that will make them high achievers in as many areas as possible.
Then, they will be qualified candidates for the college of their choice...which they hope will also be a good school.
When it comes to colleges, I believe "famous school" is a more fitting term. Lots of students would love to get into Harvard. Why? Is it because of the incredibly innovative teaching methods? Do we even know anything about how Harvard professors teach when we apply?
See what I mean?
What concerns us as teachers is the stress we see in children over their future. A scary fear that if they don't get into the best schools, then something awful will happen. Even though they have no idea what that awful thing could be.
The standardized test companies got all over this with the SSAT. This is the Secondary School Admission Test students have to take as part of their application to private high school. Think of it as an SAT for 8th graders.
Worrying so much about getting into the good schools this early causes students to miss out on the answer to the most important question. A question that schools should be helping students answer. One that we should be encouraging kids to explore as they grow up.
What am I passionate about?
What am I so passionate about, that I want to do this as a career?
Which career do I want where I will get to have fun at work, and make a living that I am incredibly happy with?
I always scratch my head when a student finishes $200,000 of tuition at a "good high school" and has no idea what he wants to major in.
Incidentally, I think "undeclared" should not be a major...
If we don't know what we are passionate about nor what kind of career we want, then we have no idea what the best school is for us.
If you want to go into music, it will be one type of school.
If you want to go into law, it could be a number of different schools depending on the type of law.
Some career paths lead to a trade school, which is completely different from college.
But, we can't know which is for us until we know what we love and what we want to do.
So, let's stop losing sleep over getting into a good school. And let's stop calling them good schools while we're at it.
Let's find our passion first.
Then, we can find the school that will really serve us.