Have you ever met one of those people who always find something to complain about?
Like, no matter how good something is, they'll always find something wrong?
Like, a million dollars could fall in their lap, and they'll point out something wrong with the container it's in?
This is an example of a habit of mind. The person who always finds something to complain about has had a lot of practice finding something to complain about.
For others, a habit of mind might be becoming overwhelmed easily.
It might be fearing the worst in a given situation.
I might be associating practicing the piano with boredom or frustration.
While it may feel like this is "just the way we are," habits of mind are just like any other habit. They can be changed.
Assuming that we want to change, of course.
There are two helpful ways to change your mental habits if you choose to do so.
Let's say, for example, you are one of those people who tends to believe the worst in things.
But you want to be different. A more optimistic, hopeful, cheerful you.
First, you can keep a gratitude journal. Making a daily habit of taking a couple minutes and writing down what you're grateful for.
With enough practice at this, you'll start to notice a change. You won't need to keep a gratitude journal as often for your mind to go straight to the things you're thankful for in a given situation.
Second, you can take up reflective writing. I thought this was complete BS until I tried it out.
When you're feeling X and you don't want to feel that way, write it all down. Write it someplace that's for your eyes only. You can delete it later; all that matters is you write it down.
Write what happened, and write how it made you feel.
Then, write a different interpretation of the story. An "alternate ending," as it were. Something that shows you how this may not be so bad.
Most of the time you'll better when you're done.
But you have to try it for yourself.
In fact, if you try it, and you feel worse afterwards, come back and let me know.
Just like writing in a gratitude journal, reflective writing will help you develop your mental habits to bring you where you want to be faster.
When you notice your mental reflexes sending you into misery, stress, or anxiety, know that you can do something about it.
You don't have to accept it as a condition of your genetics or upbringing.
You have the power to change how you react through practicing different habits of mind.
And when you have control over your mind, you really do become capable of anything.