May 10

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The Courage to Ask for Help

When I was in 7th grade, I nearly failed home economics class.

The class was only six weeks. That period, we cycled between home economics, art, music, and a few other subjects deemed important enough to check a box somewhere but not important enough to meet all year long.

The project that doomed me was a sewing project. We ordered pillows from a catalog, received the materials, and had to sew it together.

My pillow was a sixteenth note.

Yup...I was that kid...

Two classes in, I was already screwed. We had to use a sewing machine. I already pinched my finger once, and somehow managed to sew my project inside out.

I had no idea how to fix it. And I was afraid to ask for help.

I didn't want to look stupid.

So instead, I spent weeks struggling to fix my project.

With the end of the class on the horizon and my project in limbo, I finally resorted to asking the teacher to help.

She fixed my project in about two minutes, undoing my mistake so I could finish it properly.

Turns out, not asking for help was the thing that made me look stupid.

When did we become so afraid of asking for help?

Just look at therapy.

Our culture associates seeing a therapist with shame. But, the people who see a therapist generally end up in much better shape than the ones who refuse to consider it.

Because if you can't deal with it on your own, then you must be weak.

But, that's not true.

Asking for help opens new and exciting doors. Asking for help creates a shortcut for your confusion.

And if you have a teacher who makes you feel badly for asking questions, then it's time to find a new teacher.

Some of my greatest learning experiences have been the result of admitting I have no idea what I'm doing and asking others for help.

(Figuring out proper video lighting is next on my "asking for help" list, if you were curious...)

Pick something you've been struggling with.

It might be something simple, like the definition of "patronize."

Or, it might be more complex, like how taxes in the United States work.

Try asking someone how it works.

You might be surprised.

And you may even discover how much fun asking for help can be.

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For parents, students, and anyone else who believes that music can and should be a meaningful part of everyone's life.

About Jonathan Roberts

I am the founder and director of the South Shore Piano School, and I have been teaching the piano for nearly 20 years. My work centers around bringing music to the lives of kids, parents, and adults in an enriching, meaningful way. At the South Shore Piano School, my incredible colleagues and I accomplish this through skill-based teaching, community, and an innovative, people-first business model. You can read more about me here.


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