How to Stop Keeping Up With the Joneses
Every teacher has lost students who are keeping up with the Joneses too much. It happens a couple of different ways.
A parent hears students in a local
piano competition who are very young and playing advanced repertoire. The parent begins to think, "Gosh, is my child behind?"
The parent then switches the student to the competition teacher. All the while, not realizing that learning to win competitions is very different from learning skills in an organic way.
It may work out fine. But more often, the intensity of the competition teacher is too much for the student and burnout ensues.
On the other end of the spectrum, some students progress at a slower pace than others. This is not a bad thing. It just means the student is learning at his own pace in his own way.
But, in a world where our students are measured in most aspects of their lives, it becomes very easy to compare.
Too easy.
Too easy to say, "Well, he should be playing X by now. I guess
piano isn't for him." The proverbial plug is pulled, and that's the end of the journey. At least for now.
In both instances, lessons are changed or stopped because of one thing:
Comparing
piano students with other students.
Or, to quote a popular saying, "Keeping up with the Joneses."
But, in keeping up with the Joneses, we are forgetting the most important thing. The thing that makes all the difference.
Keeping up with ourselves.
In other words, taking ownership of our own (or our kids') unique journey.
Are we better today than we were yesterday. Next year, will we be better than we are now? How far have we come along since we started?
If two years go by and we feel like we've made no progress, then
that is something to address. No question. But using other people as a measure of our own success leads us on a road to nowhere.
So, stop keeping up with the Joneses, as easy as it can be to do.
In all areas of life.
After all, they will never be a better you than you.
For parents, students, and anyone else who believes that music can and should be a meaningful part of everyone's life.
I am the founder and director of the South Shore Piano School, and I have been teaching the piano for nearly 20 years. My work centers around bringing music to the lives of kids, parents, and adults in an enriching, meaningful way. At the South Shore Piano School, my incredible colleagues and I accomplish this through skill-based teaching, community, and an innovative, people-first business model. You can read more about me here.
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